Ohohoy!

Remember Melvin Udall, that obsessive-compulsive novelist played by Jack Nicholson in “As Good As It Gets?” Well, I am friends with the inspiration behind the character, and whether that’s a fortunate circumstance or not is a matter of perspective and annoyance threshold.  Just deduce it from the fact that I’m willing to share blog space with him.  And no, I’m not Simon the fag.

Mr. A has a knack for putting a negative spin on all things positive.  One time he saw my grade school graduation picture, an image that presents such a simple either-or scenario – either you hate the younger Mr. B and like the older Mr. B or vice-versa – that any comment from him would still elicit the tiniest compliment for me.  His remark blindsided me: “Nag-improve ka na pala yang lagay na yan?!”  (Loose translation: “I never would’ve thought you could get uglier than that”).  Wow, indeed.

If anything, though, Mr. A is someone you could describe as cheerfully negative, a grinning bearer of bad news, so to speak.  Readers are likely to construe his views as bigoted, smart-alecky, apathetic, off-color, repulsive, or simply obnoxious.  They will not be mistaken.  And they will keep on reading whatever Mr. A churns out because, like it or not, he represents a legitimate view of reality, where real people live to complain, criticize, and bust some chops. 

On lucky days when he takes time off from being himself, Mr. A might share his enthusiasm for food and cooking, this despite his bird-like appetite.  He might also grace us with his latest list of must-haves, must-sees, must-reads and must-listens. All will be well until you read his new entry on our “WTF! of the Week” section; by then you would know that it’s time to sit back as Mr. A resumes his tirade against anything and everything, most likely with a smile on his face.

Mr. B, the Obsessive Freak

To say that Mr. B is obsessive is an understatement.  At an early age during the height of the Pac-Man phenomenon, his fanatical obsessions sent him to an unscheduled visit to the dentist when he tried to chomp at their family coffee table just like the yellow masticator.  Unfortunately, he forgot to take his vitamins before running after the ghosts.  Now at 35 years old, Mr. B, dentally and mentally challenged because of his obsessions, still has fixations that see him grinding coffee beans from cat excrement; organizing 43 folders to find out what task he’s going to forget; and following diets that have him risking the same fate that befell Rico Yan.  Nowadays, he can be seen sharing company with questionable characters that include his suspected narcotics dependent brother, the friend-hungry but dreadfully abrasive Mr. ET, and the carpe diem PSP master.

His nature and the company he keeps make Mr. B a very interesting blogger. Hopefully, this blog doesn’t turn out like his keyboard synthesizer obsession in the eighties that had him master Fra Lippo Lippi songs and Fra Lippo Lippi songs only.